Why feeling unsatisfied in life ~collect small happiness in your life~
Happy new year!!
Year 2019 has gone and now we are entering new year 2020!!
And I hope 2020 has been treating you well so far:)
It is pretty amazing and almost overwhelming that each year gone pasts faster and faster.
You know, I have been committing with raising my self-awareness and sense of self-worth for the past 10 years. And 2019 was the year where “finally” things has put together and I was able to consciously put what I learned into practice in actual life.
If you are reading this post, it is likely that you are looking for improvement in your life and seeking your higher potential.
I believe that the underling drive to “want to more/better in life or yourself” is that “we want to feel happy”.
If you are human everyone want that, right?
Who does not want to be happy?
Even when a person seems to performing the other way on the outside, the underneath of all the behaviors, there always be the desire to be happy.
The sad thing is that when living in this busy, non-stop modern world with full of information, we tend to see “what we don’t have” rather than “what we have” right now, just in front of you.
So how can we start feeling more vibrant in our life?
How can we feeling sense of appreciation in our life?
One of the answers is;
“connect yourself and start collecting small happiness around you”
Lost "inner child" in modern society
Are you fed up with feeling of “running on the rails” of long list of to do’s in everyday life?
When your schedule note is pack with so many tasks it is natural to feel overwhelmed or become unmotivated feeling “where is my life?!”
Pile of works, everyday commute with traffic jams, tight deadlines, negative coworkers, all the house work to do…
Everyday seems to be the same.
Where is my passion? Where is my “life”?
When swamped with the tasks and many to do’s, we rarely have chance FEEL what feel inside.
Actually, most of us never learn to connect ourselves and feel when we grow up.
We are taught in school or in the house, to be good child, student, or a person, to perform well so that we “fit in” the society.
But what about our feeling?!
What and how we feel is often left out and most people get just external influence and act from their “head”, not from what we really have within us.
How can we expect to find fulfillment in our life when we are unable to connect ourselves and feel what we feel, right?
- things we were excited about as a child
- things we were so passionate about without any reasons
- things that we spent energy on even if you didn’t know that it would “benefit” you
They are your child voice that we all had and we all still do have.
These are “true” feeling and voice underneath of all the “external” influences.
As a child we;
- did things because we just wanted to do not because we should
- did things not because everyone is doing it but YOU wanted to do
However as our brain develop and become “smarter”, we also learn to suppress our true emotions or passions so that we don’t get abandoned from caretaker, friends or community and that we can “fit” into what we are expected.
While it is indeed a survival mechanism that human and even some other mammal naturally have (in order not to be kicked out of tribe), when the “inner child part” gets repressed too often and too much, we start to lose that pure and innocent heart of the child.
And it is often the case when our emotions were not validated or we did not feel “validated” from adults around us.
And sadly, this “loss of inner child” is too common in this busy, materialized society with full of “rules”
“loss of inner child” can leave us incapable of experiencing uninhibited joy that we did in younger age. And eventually the life becomes less of joy and excitement and more of “chores” and “to do list”.
Find your small hapinessess aroudn you
I have been dedicating last 10 years to find and connect with “true self”.
And as I getting the sense of it, meaning that becoming able to be “who I really am” rather than “who I think I should be”, my life also became more and more exiting and fun place to live.
When I look back now, now I see there was a big factor that helped my positive change.
And it was;
Finding and seeing the “small happinesses” in everyday life.
Interestingly it seems that all happy people also are good at seeing happiness in smallest things without having to be millionaire or have prestiges in order to feel happy.
Is that coincidence?
I don’t think so.
If it is not a coincidence, how can you find “small happinesses” in life that seems so boring then?
What are “small happinesses”in the first place?
They are things that;
- make you so excited that your heart pounds
- make you relax that your body softens
- make you feel at ease
- make you feel comfortable
without LOGICAL process.
And what crucial about finding those things are to BE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT and NOTICE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW.
Do you feel that you are too busy and cannot spend any time?
Well, actually it is the sign that you NEED to slow down to connect with your authentic self.
Take even 1 minutes or two at a start between the “tasks”, and FEEl.
You can find your time;
When you woke up in bed
Before and/or during every meal
On your way to work while walking, in the car or on the train.
At your lunch beak.
At every toilet “breaks
On the way back home from work
Give you some time to “connect” with yourself instead of watching Netflix to numb-out.
While showering/ having a bath
Before going asleep in bed
Can you see?
Take a moment, slow down, breath and feel.
You may feel that you don’t have time but there are chances if you become mindful and consciously try to see them.
As you become mindful each moment and pay attention to your feelings to “connect”, you will start to notice that there are things that give you joy, exciting and sense of fulfillment.
Life may not be monotonous.
You feel it is because you may be missing the colors behind it.
Instead of saying to yourself “I don’t have time” , replace it with “BECAUSE I feel busy, I will be mindful so that I can find the time “.
my 10 small happinessess
In case you have no idea what “small happinesses” can be, I will share some of mine.
Here we go…
- when a dog “smiles” at me when passing by
- when I look at my favorite cushion in my room
- when I get served by a friendly staff at coffee shop and have a nice coversation
- when a cafe where I randomly choose serves unexpectedly delicious coffee.
- when I look up to find a clear blue sky.
- when I look up to find a breath taking sunset
- when I smell the earth after rain
- the smell of summer night
- when my random dish with left over ingredients turns out to be five start taste.
- when looking at my feather pen that I fell in love in first glance.
Needless to say, these things may not and likely not apply to you because they are MY happinesses.
The key essence of “collecting small happinesses” is not the actual “what” part (things that make you happy) themselves but the “process” of connecting with yourself by “feeling” it.
Through this process, you become aware of things that make you excited, brings joy and feel at peace.
Once you become aware of these things and start to”collecting ” them, you will notice that the life is not just a tedious sequence of days.
But actually is a full of beautiful things to appreciate.
I used to live in a place with uncertainty and desperation, trying hard to do things “right”.
It led nowhere.
I let go of trying and of finding the answer through the mind.
And I started to listen to my heart and did things that made me excited, peaceful and feel good.
I still remember my first experience of seeing the joy in smallest thing after practice of connection with myself.
I was on my way home at night, and I looked up the sky to see the moon.
And I felt so so happy.
Yes, it was JUST watching a moon.
But I felt surge of happiness, joy and gratitude, and they were as if the mixture of every positive emotions.
Through the practice of ‘feeling” and “connecting”, slowly I became able to see and feel the joy in the “smallest” things in everyday life since then.
I would like to introduce this book to you,
“The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”.
This book is writen by by Marie Kondo, a Japanese organizing consultant.
Why am I talking about a book about tidying here?
It is because her method of clearing things has something in common here.
This is KonMari Method of selecting what to keep or discard.
She encourages people to;
keep only those things that speak to the heart, and discard items that no longer spark joy. Thank them for their service – then let them go.
People around the world have been drawn to this philosophy not only due to its effectiveness, but also because it places great importance on being mindful, introspective and forward-looking.
Process of “feeling” and finding what make you excited and your heart spark not through your “mind”, is indeed the method of connecting with yourself, your inner child, and your true-self.
I believe it is why Marie’s book attract so many people becoming #1 New York Times bestselling book, and the reader say ‘it WORKS’.
Why not start looking for your “small happinesses” from today?
Journaling its process and the “collections” is also a great way for self reflection too.
What makes you feel excited?
What makes your heart warm?
What brings your heart?
Go into your heart.
Listen to your body.
I would love to hear your collection!
I would so much appreciate if you share yours in a comment section below.
Also you can snap a photo of happiness and share it with hashtags #living_my_nature and #smallhapiness on Instagram.
In this way we can connect with like minded people:)
I look forward to hear from you!!
〜Thank you for reading〜
you may also like...
Living in the busy modern life with full of distraction and stimulation – work, medias, people, and long ‘to do’ lists…- it is easy to get disconnected from your soul or ‘true self’ having the sense of getting lost....
What we need to be truly healthy and happy physically mentally and spiritually in this modern simply finding these relaxing time more and letting yourself “ be in your nature"...